Submissive

Awaiting correction…

Master has been so loving, but I have seriously overstepped the mark.

I snapped at him earlier, I was stressed, too many things to do and only one pair of hands. I do not find it easy to ask people to do things for me. He was here and being so patient as he knows I have so much going on. He is being wonderfully supportive, I’m not sure how he feels about what’s going on, he hasn’t said and I don’t want to pry. I worry. I hope that he feels I am making good decisions. Any change in my life affects him, and all I want is to be with h m and make him happy.

Anyway I snapped at him earlier, it wasn’t his fault, I know it was unacceptable to talk to sir like that, even though I was just moaning, not really directly at him, he felt it was. I can understand why. I feel ashamed of my behaviour, it needs correcting. 

I hope that he still wants me enough to do so.

I would be lost with out him.

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Bdsm, Submissive

The wonder that is him…

He knows me best, yet somehow he still surprises me with his patience and kindness.

He is wonderful, understanding, accepting, gentle, funny, thoughtful, wise, my best friend, handsome, sexy, strong, controlling when I need guidance, demanding, sexy, my soulmate. I have no secrets from him, he knows the worse things about me, and he is still here. He is my world and I want to spend my life with him, devoted to him, loved and wanted by him always. 

I found the one. 

How many people get to say that ?

I am lucky.

I am his, always. 

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Submissive

Challenging times…

Things have been challenging lately, both sir and I have been unwell.  We have hardly had time together, that creates a distance. It’s hard to be submissive to someone you hardly see. It makes me feel a little lost. 

The distance leaves room for doubt and insecurity to show their ugly faces. I want to be with my master, at his side where I belong, but sadly commitments and illness have not allowed us to have time together. 

Tonight he told me how he felt and what he planned to do, it was lovely to read, and made me happy.But then, once again the text conversation was cut deed. I know that sir is feeling unwell And tired, and the wonderful things he said but somehow I can’t help but feel worried. I worry that I have annoyed my master, or worse still that he is bored of me.  I can’t stop thinking about it and I wonder if I am right for him. I will probably be punished for thinking that, I know that I am not allowed to be negative but I am human after all, and surely I am only concerned because I care, that can’t be a bad thing, can it? 

I love being owned but sometimes, when I feel insecure I struggle. Is it wrong to have doubts about a submissive lifestyle?

I go to bed with a racing mind and a heavy heart.

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