Submissive

Challenging times…

Things have been challenging lately, both sir and I have been unwell.  We have hardly had time together, that creates a distance. It’s hard to be submissive to someone you hardly see. It makes me feel a little lost. 

The distance leaves room for doubt and insecurity to show their ugly faces. I want to be with my master, at his side where I belong, but sadly commitments and illness have not allowed us to have time together. 

Tonight he told me how he felt and what he planned to do, it was lovely to read, and made me happy.But then, once again the text conversation was cut deed. I know that sir is feeling unwell And tired, and the wonderful things he said but somehow I can’t help but feel worried. I worry that I have annoyed my master, or worse still that he is bored of me.  I can’t stop thinking about it and I wonder if I am right for him. I will probably be punished for thinking that, I know that I am not allowed to be negative but I am human after all, and surely I am only concerned because I care, that can’t be a bad thing, can it? 

I love being owned but sometimes, when I feel insecure I struggle. Is it wrong to have doubts about a submissive lifestyle?

I go to bed with a racing mind and a heavy heart.

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One thought on “Challenging times…

  1. Having occasional doubts is fine in my book. I find that when I have to address a doubt I am having, the process of thinking it through always leads me to a greater appreciation and deeper commitment to my submissiveness. It always feels uncomfortable and there is a bit of worry, but I think if your life is always void of any doubts or self reflection, you are not living life. There have been times when I had a particularly unrewarding day, my nipples throbbing, my ass sore, and I lay in bed thinking, “what am I doing.” It doesn’t take me long to reconcile that doubt and reaffirm my commitments to myself and wake up the next morning energized and ready for the world.

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