Sometimes I wonder, how other submissives cope with the boundaries and rules enforces by their Doms.
At times I struggle, and I wonder if others do too. Even though most of the rules that my master tells me to live by are things that I can happily do, today’s inspection for instance, but there are some that I find incredibly difficult. An example of this is anything financial, at the moment we don’t have any rules relating directly to finances, however my master has decided that we should review and update our contract. I have been thinking, as instructed, if there are any rules that I would like to add. I wondered if I should suggest that there should be a limit on how much I may spend without first seeking his permission. This seems like a very good idea to me, however there is still a part of me that liked to keep my finances a little private. I have nothing to hide but I feel very uncomfortable and a little upset discussing my financial situation with him. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. Maybe it’s a small part of independence that I am just not ready to give up, I guess if we lived to get her or shared bank accounts it would be different. Does this make me a failure as a submissive? Does this mean that this lifestyle is not for me?
I wonder if there are other submissives who have similar issues. I love my master deeply and am devoted to him, yet there is a tiny part of independence that I am not sure I will ever be able to let go. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I guess it’s just a little security for me. I think I will leave it a while longer before I suggest a spending limit or any other financial rules. I am sure that there will be other additions to our contract that I can suggest.
I will continue thinking. I want to help improve our relationship, to help it grow.
He is my master and my most trusted friend.